Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Kai started preschool last week. He is attending the preschool at the church two days a week while I work. It is ideal as far as daycare goes...he is right there in the church and I can check on him whenever I want, I know the people working and know the standards of the preschool are high and I get a discount so it is affordable. All that to say it is ideal as far as daycare goes...but it is still hard. It is hard to hand off my little boy to others to care for for the entire day, it is hard to give up control on things I'm used to having a say in, it is hard to go a whole day without playing with my baby. It is hard, but is is good. He seems to love it and I have to force him to kiss me goodbye, when I come to pick him up he is excited to see me but doesn't jump into my arms, he would rather jibber jabber and point to things like he is telling me all about it. It is good. In case it is not obvious I am still convincing myself of that. This is a way better situation then before. Up to this point I have been taking him to work with me some days and working from home in between caring for him. This is better because I have two full days at the office plus another 1/2 day that my friend watches him. Then I work from home one 1/2 day (and switch and watch my friend's little one). This allows me to have one weekday totally off from work. That will free Kai and I up to go on some adventures and have more quality time together. The best part of all of this is that Tyson will change his work schedule so that he has Saturdays off and we have the whole weekend as a family. He has been watching Kai on Mondays and working Saturdays since Kai was born. Although both Kai and Tyson will miss "Daddy's Day" we are excited to have Saturdays as a family. This is good, it is all very good but I am still mourning the loss of my "ideal". Ideally I would be home all the time with him and not have to juggle work. But this is the place God has us in and He provided a wonderful job for me. A job that has been so flexible, has allowed me to bring Kai to work with me and people there who have loved Kai and are special so us. I could not ask for a better situation at this point. So, like I said, it is all good. But the mommy in me is sad to hand over the care giving to others and the control freak in me is, well, sad to give up control, but is good for all of us and we are blessed. Above is the obligatory "first day of school" picture... taken quickly as we were walking out of the house with the bright morning sun in his eyes, what a sport:)

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