I had that thought many times this weekend. This was honestly one of the hardest few days I can remember. Kai was sick, need I say more...but I will. He has never been sick before, ever and this is the weekend it happens. Tyson and I were supposed to spend the weekend with other members of our Student Ministries at Sunriver for the annual retreat. Our dear friends Jeff and Kari were graciously willing to take Kai for the weekend so we could go (thank you again guys, you are a blessing!) Unfortunately Kai got the stomach flu Thursday and just when I thought he was getting better on Friday evening a wave of nausea came over me and I was throwing up for the next 12 hours...literally every hour. Tyson took care of Kai all night and even slept downstairs to avoid the sickness but he woke up Saturday morning sick as well. Needless to say, we did not go to Sunriver. Saturday was such a hard day. Tyson and I were both so weak and tired and sick that it took everything we had to care for Kai and pray that we all survived. Kai was still not himself but no longer vomiting and we knew he was not dehydrated. By Sunday Tyson and I were feeling better but still recuperating but with our minds a little clearer we realized Kai was still not better, he was just lethargic and tired and not himself. Monday morning as I got ready to go to work and Tyson was feeding Kai he threw up again...I took him to the doctor and he will be fine. He has the stomach flu and is just taking longer to get over it than I thought. He is still not back to normal but is on the mend. I just keep reminding myself to enjoy that he wants to be held and snuggled since he normally wants to be off and running.
Did anyone need all that information, no. But I did. I just needed to process and remember this weekend. Last night I was reflecting on the last 5 days and realizing this was the first really difficult situation we have had with Kai. I am spoiled and God has been so good and given us such an easy child. We never had a night of inconsolable crying as a newborn...he just wanted food and went right back to sleep. He slept through the night at two months old. He is content to play by himself when needed so I can get things done. He is really just a joy. Yet, I still lack patience at times. God worked on me this weekend in a few ways. One, He taught me patience. Well, I guess I am still learning it, but He showed me that with His help, I can be patient. He also showed me again that I need Him, that I don't have it all figured out. He has showed me this many times before but I needed it again. I did everything I should have but Kai didn't just get better, I had to hand him over to the Lord again and say, he's Yours and you alone can heal him and I need Your strength. I'm amazed at how gracious God is to me and how He is willing to teach me again the lessons I should already know. Will I be patient to my son when I have to reteach or remind him of the things he already knows? There is no way I will be as patient as my Lord is to me, but I am glad I have the best example of a loving parent in my Heavenly Father.
2 weeks ago